Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
