Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
