tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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