you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize