We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
