No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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