Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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