im six kinds of drunk right now
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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