i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
