Kiss
Puke
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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