Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
