next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
