If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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