What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize