ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
