We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
