I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
