He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i came on her dog
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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