I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
