sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
even my farts smell like vagina
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
