in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
