On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
