Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
