ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize