didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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