ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
