I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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