4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
