Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
