You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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