508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Randomize
