Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
