Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
