i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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