do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
