Jerry, you need to find god
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
