the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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