Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
