Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
there's paper in my vomit.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize