this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
