No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
