He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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