Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
kristin has been a bad kristin
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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