yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
