I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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