She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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