a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
