Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
