why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
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