She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you didnt know i had herpes?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
