my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
my poor anus
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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