Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
