Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I smell like Dick and happiness
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