thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize