glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
