she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize