There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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