I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
