I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
