I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
