my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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