Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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