new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
