Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
