Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
