mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So squirting runs in the family.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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