btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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