theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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