I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His nipple licking is glorious
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