I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
