I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He kissed a someone with a penis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
