where does the pee come out of this thing
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
