If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
