Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
