Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
