so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
