I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have aggressive nipples.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize