..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it's like heaven, but drunker
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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